I AM A SUPERGENIUS!!!

And tonight's results show proves it! Dang, I am freaky-freaky-freaky FRESH!
Okay ducklings, tell me what you thought of the bottom three (of which I got 2 right) and the ousted dancers (who I totally got right!)!
Also, there is some sort of superdork out there spreading the rumor that Cat is leaving the show. Anyone else hear this? Is Lauren Sanchez the source of these evil rumors???!

R.I.P. Adam Shankman's Microphone

Wow, I am so impressed that the show did not run over! Adam Shankman never stopped talking! And when he did, it was only to rough up his poor microphone. He must have hit that poor mic ten times!
Meanwhile, Mary was breaking out into new territory yet again. Not satisfied with just deafening everyone in the world, this time she was going for blinding everyone as well!
First up, Twitch and Kherington with a jailbreak routine. Pretty good. I'm not totally blown away with Tabitha and Napolean's routines, but they are fo' sho' better than Dan Karrity's routines. My favorite part is when the music was over and I saw Kherington's "Twitch" glasses. Pretty fly. She definitely needs to tone down that smiling though. Mia was right last week. Kher has a great smile, and it's probably naturally there, but she doesn't need to smile that much through a jail break hip hop routine.
Can I be more in love with Gev? I almost died laughing when Tony told him to grab Courtney's booty. His smile was worth millions! Does anyone else recognize Tony Meredith from America's Ballroom Challenge? I can't get over him reciting all of his scripted material with Sandy Duncan.
Comfort and Chris. Boy, did they stink it up. There was really no power behind their dancing. Tyce's routine had the opportunity to be great. Bummer. What else can I say?
Doriana Sanchez. Dang I feel like this woman is my arch-nemesis! Why do they keep having disco? After the first disco routine in the first season we should have just stopped. But I guess Will and Jessica did a good enough job.
Meanwhile I totally am digging this Sonya mohawk chick and I hope that she comes back to choreograph again. I loved her routine. Fabulous, and really a good piece for Matt and Kourtni (side note to parents: stop it already with the funky spellings!).
I don't even want to talk about Chelsea and Thayne because it will make me too sad. Boy was that was heavy and boring. And it wasn't totally their fault. That choreography was a SNOOZE!
Why is everyone so in love with Tabitha and Napolean??? I liked Chelsi and Mark's routine (by the way his pinkies are Ca-Ray-Z! Yikes!), but I'm not peeling myself off the ceiling like everyone else. Geez.
And finally, Joshua and Katee. When I saw that they were doing Samba I groaned like a boy (ala Katee). I don't like Samba. Boy oh boy did I change my mind after that routine. That was really smokin' hot! Sweet! Sick! Banoodles! Right from the beginning I was hooked! What a great way to close the show!
So now I realize I've pulled an Adam Shankman and nattered on endlessly. I'll leave with a few (thousand) bullets:

• What is up with the wardrobe department tonight? Did they spend all of their money on bedazzling Mary's dress? I was not diggin' any of the ensembles.
• Is anyone else over the hot tamale train?
• What dance show did Tabitha and Napolean come from?
• Wasn't it so fly that Jessica tried to match Will's line after his slip?
• How is Comfort still dancing with a dislocated shoulder? Didn't Mark on Dancing With the Stars do the same thing and had to have surgery?
• Where the heck did Brian Friedman go?!?! I miss him!
• And finally, I need to know how old Mary Murphy is. Ever since I realized she's removed her age from the interwebiverse, I've been obsessed. Any guesses?
• Bottom three predictions: Chelsea and Thayne, Comfort and Chris, Will and Jessica (because Disco is never a favorite).
  
• Going home: Chris and Chelsea
  

Old Tamale Train

Okay, rather than waste a thousand words, please just look at this:

What the heck is Mary Murphy wearing???? And isn't she a little too old, like by let's say ONE HUNDRED years, to be wearing such an ensemble? I would post her actual age (judging by her Flintstone's era necklaces, I'd say she coming up on a Jurassic birthday), but while researching for this post, I was unable to locate her exact birth date.
Seriously.
Mary McBotox has not only removed age from her face, but also from the Interweb. How she did this, I don't know. She is an evil genius. I guess when you've been around for several millennia you learn a few tricks.
Kudos to you, Mary, for tramping up and crazifying my blessed SYTYCD! It wouldn't be the same unless you were drunk and frozen-faced! Banoodles!

Girl Power!

Can I just say how glad I am that Stephanie won Top Chef? It is so great to see a girl win in such a male dominated field! Good for her. And I'm glad it was someone nice, too. Not a crazy schizo like everyone else on the show. Although I was really really pulling for Antonia. She won me over at: "We don't let Andrew talk to customers. Seriously." Fantastic.

So let's talk menus (I'm only including Richard and Stephanie because, well, did Lisa's presence even really matter?):

Richard:
Fish Course: "The Beginning": Grilled Scallop with Pineapple Vinegar and Mango -- I wanted this to work soooo badly. I'm one of those people that always looks at scallops with a twinge of sadness. They are so perfect to look at, but alas, never have I had one that tastes great. Sigh.
Poultry Course: "Which Came First?": Guinea Hen, Duck, Foie Gras, and Chicken Egg with Spring Vegetables -- Yikes this just looked heavy heavy heavy.
Red Meat Course: "Be the Bacon": Pork Belly with Pickled Radish and Mirin Broth -- You don't know how many times I wish I could be the bacon. And again, I am just soooooo sad about this course. Pork belly, or as I call it, Mannah from Heaven, is just superdelicious when done right. Richard, you could have been great with this! Curses!
Dessert Course: "The End": Banana Scallop with Bacon Ice Cream and Cilantro Stem -- This is the course that frustrated me the most. This is the meal of your life and you do reruns?!?! What a bad call. And bacon ice cream? Hasn't he ever seen Iron Chef? Ice cream is the kiss of death!

On to our winner. . .

Stephanie:
Fish Course: Sauteed Red Snapper Filet with Truffled White Asparagus and Clam Broth -- despite my psychological allergy to all things fish, this actually looked super tasty. Everything about it looked great.
Poultry Course: Seared Quail Breast with Butter Poached Lobster Ravioli and Mango -- lobster, not so much. But add the mango and quail? Nice.
Red Meat Course: Roasted Lamb Medallions with Maitake Mushrooms, Braised Pistachios, and Blackberry -- I love lamb. Love. Lamb. So why didn't this look good to me? Was it just the presence of the dreaded fungus? Although I will add that I am intrigued by those braised pistachios. Interesting. I might have to get some pistachios from Trader Joe's and try that out. Or just eat the whole bag of pistachios while watching Top Chef. That counts too, right?
Dessert Course: Ricotta Pound Cake with Lime Glaze, Pineapple, and Salted Banana Cream -- Poor chefs stuck with a dessert course. How come we didn't see a mousse or something simple like that? Why is everyone either baking or doing reruns? Blerg!

Overall, I was more intrigued by Richard's menu, but Stephanie with her even demeanor pulled it out in the end. Good for her. Sad for Richard. Lisa who?

So that's my first review. Let's open it up for discussion, fellow Top Chef nerds. I'll leave you with my final favorite moment:
Gail Simmons, Top Chef's Nina Garcia, in a moment of deep thought:

Brave New Potato

Last week, while vacationing at Casa My Parents, my dad woke me up at 1:30am. I was passed out on their couch in a puddle of drool with only the vaguest of recollections that I had fallen asleep watching The Fabulous Life of Cougars on VH1. Some might interpret this as rock bottom.
Not I.
Since that moment I have dedicated almost every waking moment to spreading the word about that special Cougars episode of the Fabulous Life. The result, dear readers (sadly enough this is probably just me), is that I have decided to start a blog devoted to discussing one of my three favorite media mediums: television.
Potatoes, please hear my siren song and feast upon our beautiful pop culture! The Potato Watch list to your left contains all of my most current boob tube obsessions.
Until next time, unite, Potatoes! Unite!